As I was doing some research for a presentation tomorrow I came across a quote that had nothing to do with what I was working on but it is just so amazing:To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was YOU.
Wow! I wish I would have thought of that first. That is so amazingly true. Lack of forgiveness causes you to be a prisoner. When you finally do forgive you think "I am doing that person a favor," when actually you are releasing yourself.
I'll ask you this: Who do you need to forgive? Stop reading this blog and go do it now. Then come back. :) Let me now how it went.
1 comment:
Hey Dan, Have you ever heard of Ed Worthington? He's a Christian psychologist and an expert in forgiveness. I read one of his books for a class I took on forgiveness in counseling; he's got a great, practical, easy to teach model for forgiveness. (I so often hear people telling people to forgive, but no one really has a plan for how to do it and make it stick, you know?) Anyway, here's his REACH model:
R: Recall the hurt (write down, or tell a friend exactly what the offense was and what it meant to you. Let your feelings surface, and re-experience the pain of the event)
E: Empathize with the offender (Try to put yourself in their shoes. What might the person have been thinking? Why might the person have done what they did? Is there anything from the person's background that makes the hurtful act make more sense?)
A: Altruistic gift of forgiveness. (Like you said, forgiving is setting someone free. When we forgive, we ARE setting the other person free from our wrath and vengence. This is an altrusic gift that we give the other person, not because they deserve it, but because we need to give it.)
C: Confess. (Tell a friend, pastor, etc. about your decision to forgive the person. Make it public, so you have accountability and support for.....)
H: Holding on to forgiveness! (Anytime the hurt comes back up in k life, which it will---forgiving is NOT forgetting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, remind yoursef of your decision to forgive. If you find that there's more to forgive that you didn't take care of the first time, go through the process again.)
I found this to be a realy great guide for forgiveness--and it works for big offenses and small offenses. Worthington used the model to forgive the two teenagers who brutally murdered his elderly mother!!! In fact, his own story is amazing, and I highly recommend his book, Forgiving and Reconciling.
This is probably the longest blog comment you've ever had!!! I just get really passionate about the subject of forgiveness because it's something Jesus commanded but the church misses the mark so many times.
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