"The impact God has planned for us doesn't occur when we're pursuing impact. It occurs when we're pursuing God." Phil Vischer.

Stop, re-read that quote above. I will wait till you finish.

Most of us want a close deep relationship with God. In fact, in all my years of ministry I don't think I have ever met anyone who does not want a closer relationship with God. The end result or the impact of a close relationship with God is incredible. But to pursue that end result for the sake of the end result is not where it is at. The impact is in that pursuing.

Now I am no expert at marriage, I make many mistakes. In order to have that impact that we all want, the impact that God has planned for marriage, you have to be pursuing your spouse. It is in that pursuit that you will find the impact that you so desire.

Let's take one dimension of spirituality, prayer. There are a thousand different "techniques" that I have read about. So the one day you are doing it one way and it is giving you that impact, great. The next day you try the same thing nothing. So move on to another method, and then another. During those time of pursuing that relationship with God, you will have that impact that you are craving.